All of us have gone through heartaches, and heartaches do not happen in the beginning. Before we let our tears roll down our cheeks, we all feel that ecstasy brought about by eros—as if lying on a bed of roses helping us surpass every hurdle we encounter. I don’t want you to take it to mean that romantic love always results in heartaches. The truth is, however, most of us mistake something else for love.
We readily get blown away by what seems to be a semblance of immense bliss. We are easily swayed to fight for what we believe is love, mostly without a sense of deep reflection on whether or not it will be worth the effort, the time, and probably the pain in the end. So how do we know if it’s still a good call? Here’re seven signs telling you it’s time to let go.
1. You trivialize major offenses.
It’s okay to be magnanimous towards people who are resentful. But when they are not and you know you have been offended by their actions (or words?), think again. Flirting with multiple people at once. Lying about things. Talking about exes too much. These behaviors speak volumes of a person’s disposition. Tolerating these just because you think the person can change is not the kind of compromise you should make.
2. You start to question your self-worth.
There will come a time when all you do is just cry and wonder. During this time, you question your value as a human being. You doubt your capabilities. When you start questioning the merits of your being, you should also start questioning where this “relationship” will eventually lead you to.
3. You try to ignore red flags but end up thinking about them a lot.
As you walk past the best-foot-forward stage, you both slowly reveal your true colors. Along the way, the negative characteristics, mostly behavioral, of the person start to unfold before your eyes. From materialistic tendencies to one-sided “deep” conversations, comfortability and familiarity catalyze the stripping off of the wolf in sheep’s clothing.
These red flags are first observed by your friends. They make these qualities known to you yet you facilely shrug them off. Believe it or not, your friends play an important role in your dating life. So when they tell you that some things are out of the ordinary, listen to them.
4. You morph into someone you are not.
When it is your nature to be honest and you suddenly “enjoy” lying on orders from the other party, it’s time to reassess. Your core values and life visions make you elementally unique. Forcing you to change into someone you are obviously not is clearly a brazen disrespect to your individuality. If and when this happens, it’s time to move forward. You deserve a person who will appreciate you for who you are. You deserve someone who will preserve your morals and uphold your principles, recognizing them as crucial factors to your identity.
5. You feel that the other party’s convenience becomes central to your dynamics.
Compromises are important to make any relationship work. But if you find yourself in a situation where you sacrifice a whole lot just so you can serve convenience on a silver platter then you are bound for a lot of disappointments. This setup leads to emotional bondage and is usually founded on selfish gains. Unfortunately, convenience lays the foundation of a relationship based on lust, selfishness, and obsession.
6. Your presence only serves to stroke the other’s ego.
Sparks and chemistry do not justify tolerance of f*ckboy mentality. You both should complement each other. Pause and ponder when you think boosting the other person’s ego becomes an imposed responsibility rather than a voluntary thing.
7. Your prayers to God include sparing you of unnecessary tears and intolerable pain.
They say the only way for you to know you have loved dearly is when you ask divine intervention to guide you through a rollercoaster ride. This is a clear manifestation that things have gone out of hand and only godly actions can salvage you from this seemingly abysmal situation.
If you think you’ve spotted these signs, you should take the opportunity to think back and reevaluate. We all want to be in a harmonious relationship. These early indicators do not point to a good and rewarding outcome. If we insist on things that cannot be, we will only end up endangering our standards. Remember, these standards were set at a point where there’s clarity of mind and a high level of consciousness, thus, making it reflective of what we truly want in a partner. Heightened emotions can lead to questionable decisions. Do not let your emotions consume you. Do not subject yourself to the fickleness of being presumably in love. After all, you do not want to jeopardize the possibility of a happy ending just because you want the wrong person to be the right one.
No comments:
Post a Comment