Fixing your partner's insecurities is not your job. But there are things you can do to tackle them.

It may be good to give your partner a surprise gift every so often. Taking him or her to a random date at a nearby park can be sweet. But sometimes, what your partner really needs is just a confidence boost. Because believe it or not, even the most confident person in the world can feel insecure. 

A deep sense of security is fundamental in a loving—and hopefully long-lasting—relationship. While this is said to be basic, giving your partner the sense of security he or she needs can be a little challenging. 

There’s always a reason why your partner is showing signs of neediness and possessiveness. Good news.. These feelings are fleeting. They come and go. What your partner feels now may no longer be the same tomorrow. As a loving partner, it is your duty to find out why he or she feels this way and eventually come up with a game plan to help address this.

In case you’re wondering, I’ve put together some very ruminative ways on how to make your partner feel more secure:

1. Make your partner feel the so-called sense of inclusion.

Introduce your partner to your family and friends. As you welcome your partner into your life, make him or her feel that you truly are proud of what you share. Don’t forget to be on top of the situation. Your partner agreed to go with you in a non-neutral ground. You should always keep in mind that it is absolutely important for you to usher him or her in your circle. You do not want your partner to end up being a wallflower just because you failed to do proper introductions.

You should also include him or her in your future plans. The primary reason why you both chose to be in a serious relationship is longevity. Making your partner feel (as though) he or she is a part of your future will exemplify how serious you are with the relationship. This, I tell you, will definitely hit a home run. 

2. Be private.

Let your partner feel that he or she can trust you by making sure that your arguments, differences in opinions, and secrets remain just between the two of you. Others’ involvement in your personal issues is totally unnecessary, counterproductive, and devastating.

3. Do not leave your partner guessing.

It is important to not leave your partner hanging. Do not wait for hours or days before you respond to his or her messages or pick up his or her calls. When you're busy, tell him or her. When you're not in the mood to talk, communicate that. It sure does not feel good to be left in the dark.

4. Show support for your partner’s endeavors.

In some of your random conversations, you get to find out what his or her interests are. Encourage your partner to take part in activities that he or she is enraptured by. It might even be a better idea to join your partner in any or all of these activities even when you are not totally passionate about them. 

Supporting your partner also covers setting individual (emotional and financial) goals and meeting them. Give your partner the assurance that 20 to 30 years down the road, you will still be having a great time together, living an emotionally and financially stable life you both created for each other. 

6. Compliment when there’s an opportunity.

A foolproof way of making your partner feel special is giving sincere and genuine compliments here and there. Tell him or her how beautiful he or she is. Compliment his or her wit. Acknowledge the wisdom behind his or her judgment. Remind your partner why you chose to be with him or her—that quality which made him or her stand out. Sounds easy and petty but these tricks go a long way. 

It is also a very effective tactic for you to recognize your partner’s insecurities and compliment them for that. Getting compliments about what he or she considers an insecurity is a great way to build your partner’s self-esteem. Doing this will help your partner feel appreciated. A wholehearted compliment leaves little to no room for resentment.

7. Quit the mind games, talk it out, and answer questions.

Mind games are downright infantile. When in a relationship, the least you need is a juvenile partner who is zealous about his playbook. 

Communication is a key element to any relationship. The lack of it is the nub to most, if not all, of relationship problems. Whenever you feel your partner shows signs of insecurity, talk it out. Take the initiative to start the conversation and try to pick his or her brain. There’s no better way of understanding what’s going on than by assessing the situation yourselves. In order to reap the maximum benefits of communication, be mindful of timing. You don’t wanna add to your partner’s distress by insisting on talking about his, her, or your insecurity after a long day at work or after noticing his or her very apparent annoyance. 

Additionally, your partner may have a ton of questions about things. Be patient enough to answer each and every one of them. Sometimes, your partner asks you questions not because they don’t know the answer but because they wanna be reaffirmed and appeased. This is perfectly normal.

8. Do not give your partner a reason to doubt you, and that includes entertaining advances from anyone.

When you decided to be in a relationship, you took on the responsibility to stay away from anything and everything that will hurt your partner, including cheating, dishonesty, and withholding the truth. Instinctively, trust is given until one finds a reason to cease giving it. That is what we wanna avoid.

Also.. Being friendly is inevitable. Flirting is not. Drawing the line between the two is not really that hard to determine—if you only try hard enough. Be mature enough to learn how to straightforwardly and politely decline even the slightest hint of flirting from anyone.

Sure, you may think that the person you made eye-to-eye contact with in the supermarket is cute. But as a discerning partner, you should outrightly dismiss this distraction and focus on the more valuable things. The least you wanna do is disrespect your partner—intentionally or not.

9. Past is past and focus on the now.

A hangup from an ex, a what-if with an almost-but-never-was, or whatever it is that will make him or her feel that you’re stuck in the past—all of these should be buried in the deepest abyss of your mind and totally forgotten. You should move on from all these impertinent things of the past and draw 99% of your attention to what’s more important: the magical relationship you have with the person who loves you so much and is willing to climb mountains just to be with you. 

When you accept people in your lives, you also learn to accept their unpleasant side and insecurities. Accepting their insecurities means you are also accepting the role you can play to positively deal with them. While it is said that fixing your partner’s insecurities is certainly not your responsibility, doing something to help him or her feel more secure is.

In order for your relationship to flourish, you should deliberately shun all the things that contribute to your partner’s insecurities and be more than committed to carry out the significant promises you made before each other. A relationship is not happy by default. You make it the way you want it to be. 

[Image from PowerofPositivity.com]